Monday, August 9, 2010
Letting go...one thumb at a time
Who cries on vacation in the Mediterranean? This girl. Right here. The last few days have been hard. I don't know why. Missing my family, friends...English.
This time it's diifferent. When I travel, I know when I am going home and I know when I will resume normal life and the "missing" is controllable. This vacation makes this adventure real. It is real that I don't speak spanish fluently (yet.) It it real that I don't eat meat, milk or cheese in a country obsessed with sardines, squid and cafe con leche.
My mother has always told me - in life there are choices. I choose this choice. I choose the adventure. I choose the unknown. I choose the absolutely amazing man sitting across from me. I choose the most comfortable and confident I have ever felt with someone.
To say that I am a control freak is pretty much an understatement. I know what I like and I know how to get it. Without words that becomes a challenge. I have let go of ordering food. The spaniard is getting pretty good. "I would like this with that...leave that off...add this...and that on the side."
I had a cut under my thumb nail that I didn't realize for a few days. All I knew was my thumb hurt like a mother (use your imagination.) So today the spainiard preformed minor surgery. I let go of "I can do it myself." Which was definitely my first thought.
I now know how much I will miss my Mom, my Dad and my Brother. I now more fully realize what it will be like living in Spain. I want to throw this Spainish keyboard and into the sea and want to be able to go to Whole Foods and find exactly what I want.
But I choose this choice for other reasons. I am letting go...one thumb at a time.